what happens when you try to arrange a wedding in five weeks

Last year I suggested we actually do it some time. I was on a beach, he was in the pub
Last year I suggested we actually do it some time. I was on a beach, he was in the pub

I have been with The Man for nearly 10 years. He has been threatening to marry me for many of those years. However, having been married three times already between us, it’s never been a priority. The fact that he has out-lasted both my previous marraiges put together has also lessened the need.

But about six weeks ago, I realised that my driving license had expired (check yours guys – I had no idea!), and it was in my previous married name. So, I was going to have to change my name on it.

I made the comment that “I wasn’t going to chnage my name on it now, just to change it again in a coouple of years time”, and with that, we went to the registry office and booked “The first Saturday available”. Which was last Saturday.

The Girl has been obsessed with us getting married eventually, and has mentioned it at least three times a week – even more so after her dad remarried. So, we obviously wanted her there, but apart from that, I’m not particularly into weddings, and I don’t like dressing up, and everything just seemed like too much fuss and bother. However, I LOVE a party!  I was in a quandry as to what to do.

So, I asked a wonderfully skilled friend if he would make our rings, to make it more personal and unique.  Him and his partner were the first outside our family to know.  Then, we finally relented and said family and closest friends could come along.  However, in ordeer to keep the amount of wedding chat to a minimum, I only told the girl 6 days beforehand when I had to take her out to get a dress!


I booked the ‘wedding breakfast’ in the back room at the Village Kitchen – Hanna and the team couldn’t have been more accommodating, and we gave the kitchen a resounding round of applause on the day.  Do check it out some time guys if you haven’t already – we had nothing but great comments from people.


The party had to be over the Rose & Crown, and I decided to get a karaoke and a photo booth. The wonderful people of Open Booths were amazing, and it really was a highlight of the evening – I highly recommend getting a photo booth for some brilliant memorable pics of your loved ones, and the Open Booth gives you so much more scope for merriment.


But then the other highlight was our cake.

After seeing a Wizard of Oz cake that he’d made for his neice, I asked my lovely friend Darren if he would be interested in making me an anti-wedding cake that was Walthamstow themed. He jumped at the chance and the conspiring began.  Originally, I had asked for me & The Man sitting on top of a pile of abandoned mattri (Walthamstow is famous for its abandoned mattresses, don’t ya know?) but it became so much more than that. It features our favourite places, our cats, The Girl, Warren Sreet station where we met (even though it’s obviously not Walthamstow where we were both living at the time), panda bowl man, pigeons. It was an absolute work of art. A showstopper – made clear by the amount of time people took taking photos of it when we brought it out. I can’t thank Darren enough!


All in all, given the amount of time I had to do it in, I think it was a bloody good day, and I am so grateful to every single person who came and shared our day. I wouldn’t have had it any other way – certainly not with months of stress and planning!

third time lucky

I guess I should mention my ‘news’ from 25th August.  The top was written in the sand by me at Porto De Mos in the Algarve.  The bottom was my reply from The Man from the Rose & Crown pub in Walthamstow 🙂

Proposal in the sand

We were kind of planning it for next year, but hit a little bit of a hitch as I hate weddings.  I couldn’t have the wedding that I actually wanted, so it was really just goign to be a ‘Lets have a big party and ask everyone we love’ kind of thing.  Us getting married isn’t a new idea, we just haven’t bothered because I haven’t seen the point of doing it if we couldn’t do what we wanted…but then in the summer, things shifted a bit and I kind of thought ‘Why the hell not’ – the idea of being married is quite nice, it was just the idea of GETTING married that I hated.

And then a couple of weeks ago, I found out that they have relaxed marriage laws, so there is a chance that we can actually have the wedding that we want.  With that as a goal, we are going to plan it for 2014 to give enough time to save money and plan it properly without rushing and becominf Bridezillas (he loves Don’t Tell The Bride, so I think he could be worse than me!)

I found this entry in an old diary I had from January 2005.  Yes, that is how long ago me & The Man decided this was ‘it’!

The thing is, I want something ‘non-conformist’ for my wedding. I don’t like weddings really. I’ve done the big meringue thing and I’ve done the arriving at work late and saying “Can you call me Mrs F now please, sorry I’m late, I just got married”-thing, with noone else there (apart from my ex-SIL and the lovely Lorna).

I want something more ‘me’, more Andy. Something more……….earthy.

I want to get married in a forest at midnight with twinkling lights and be wearing fairy wings. I want drums. I want my friends to be with us…..I’m not that worried about my family – I expect that I’ll have to do some kind of blessing or do or something for them, but that’s not the important bit, it will be for them, not for us, not what’s important to us!!

But where do I start??

Another idea that I have had is that we can hire a ‘cottage’ in a forest that will atke about 24 of us for a weekend. I even have somewhere in mind as I stayed there once…..but where do you get a priest from?

never EVER again…until next time!

OK, so I haven’t really said much about it, but while I was in Portugal, I kind of got engaged.

And this is how it happened! The top picture was from me, from Porto Do Mos in the Algarve and the bottom from him in the Rose & Crown, Walthamstow 🙂

Me & The Man have had a pretty rough and rocky year this year.  A couple of months ago I thought that it was all over, and that we should split up.  BUT he wasn’t having any of that.

I think teetering on that brink, and being dragged right back in, being reminded why he’s lasted 8 1/2 years and recognising what our issues have been, and knowing they were fixable kind of made me decide “It’s all or nothing!”.

So, it’s going to be all.

We need to get our arses into gear and work out exactly what we want (and it has to be on an exceedingly tight budget), but hopefully, by this time next year (perhaps August) I will be Mrs Fletcher (name change number 7!)

I hate weddings.

tasty fried wedding

This wonderfully designed poster is up in my local chicken shop, that gourmet extravaganza ‘Tasty Chicken ‘N’ Pizza’.

What more could you want at your wedding?

I have many friends who are trying to convince me (VERY unsuccessfully) to get married in Vegas – but why the hell would I do that when I could have such amazing catering for my wedding right in Walthamstow?!

(Note:  I realise it’s probably just a poster for a separate catering business, but come on – it’s amusing!!)
The wonderful Tasty Chicken 'N' Pizza in all its glory. Honestly - they're absolutely fine as chicken shops go - The Girl likes them!

half a life away

Hello Mag cover from the day I got married!

Today is my unniversary.  That is, it is the anniversary of the day I first got married – but seeing as we have been divorced for year, it isn’t really an anniversary.

However, it is NINETEEN YEARS since the day I first got married, and this in itself is something worth noting, as that means it is literally half my lifetime ago (yes, i really am that old).

When I think of my first 19 years, the last 19 seem to have dragged by in comparison.  or maybe it’s just that so much has happened – after all, I’ve spent 11 of them as a mother, which isn’t exactly easy going.  I have got married twice and divorced twice, and spent longer with The Man than I spent with either of my husbands.  Oh yes, and I actually properly love him an’ all – although I try not to admit that to his face.

I have had my annoying cat for OVER half my life.  actually, the post I linked there is one of the most read on my blog for some reason.  people keep searching on ‘London cat lady’ which worries me.  and I love that photo of her 🙂

In another 19 years I’ll be 57 and that seems REALLY old – although younger than my parents are, and that doesn’t particularly seem to be that old – considering they’re so childish.

I’m not sure whether it’s just because of my ongoing insomnia, but I am feeling a lot older than I am at the moment.  I don’t like that – I like feeling younger than my years.  I think I just need a few good night’s sleep and then I’ll be fine!  Or (more likely) I need a holiday, which I haven’t had for a LONG time.  I even tried looking for a holiday for the three of us next summer, and gave up because looking for a holiday was stressing me out!

Anyway – 19 years ago today, I got married.  I had a proper meringue dress and a Zandra Rhodes headdress and a blue garter and a gorgeous bridesmaid and a beautiful 1932 Daimler and I sat on my bed before I left my parent’s house and asked God to forgive me for what I was about to do as I knew it was terribly wrong.

He was (and still is) a lovely guy…but he was always just too , I dunno, ‘straight’ for me.  Quite proper.  Good stock and all that, nice bloke, intelligent, absolutely gorgeous looking but very very ‘straight’.  I was a bit too naughty and rebellious for him.  Something had to give.  He ironed his socks FFS!

I ended up with him because I was running away.  But that is another story.

Today, I will ponder over half my life.  And then hopefully I will sleep!

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