noel is his dream man


“I had a really weird dream”, The Man said to me this morning and proceeded to try to explain it to me.

Apparently he had to go to the TV studios to assassinate Noel Edmonds during a recording of Deal Or No Deal.  so he had a pistol in a carrier bag, and off he went.  When he got there he took his trousers off (?!!?) and found the correct studio, but their security had been alerted and there was noone there, it was all being broadcast from a tape.

So he put his trousers back on (?!!?) and was trying to go down the emergency exit stairs looking as calm and innocuous as possible so that he didn’t get caught.

“I don’t know what all that might have meant”, he told me.

Apart from insanity, would anyone like to hazard a guess?

britney gags me when i go gaga

I looked up 'sexy lobster'. I got this. I'm not so sure!

OK – so I had this extremely bizarre dream last night that took me ages to pull out of this morning.

For some reason, I had been hired to be Britney Spears’ PA, and I had to pick out an outfit for her to wear at some gig or the other.  I remember walking through this maze of corridors to get to her, and then ending up in this room where she was sitting there, bitching and gossiping along with a group of very slutty loooking girls.  And the things she was saying were enough to make your toes curl!  Well, MY toes, anyway

I gave her the outfit, and she was really dismissive and then said “I’ll need you back here by 7!”

So, I went along to my next job, which was PA to Lady Gaga (yes, I know!).  And she was about to do an afternoon gig, and had a load of people fussing all round her, but she took a load of time to say hi to me and introduce a few people, and then said that she was a dancer short for the show – and could I swim, which I can.

I was given this odd red costume that made me look like a sexy lobster, and the whole set was done in a swimming pool, with her singing on a trapeze that was going back and forth above the water.  I was in a group of three ‘swancers’ along with Mel C for some reason, who I was having a good giggle with, as we made our way around the pool.

When the gig was over, I got changed and looked at my watch, only to realise that I was never going to make it back to Britney in time!

I run all the way there, jumping over fences and hedges Ferris Bueller style – for some reason I didn’t have a car, but I was 10 minutes too late.

So, there i was, standing outside this large stadium, and there was a banner up, across the whole of one wall that read “Sonia, you are fired, and I have got a superinjunction out on you!”

Why can’t I just go back to the dreams I usually have where dead bodies wash up on the beach of an island I’m stranded on?

i dream of miranda

The glorious Miranda in 'Miranda', what else?! 🙂

Last night I had a rather vivid dream.

I dreamt that the wonderful Miranda Hart moved in next door (although I didn’t appear to be living here, so I don’t know where it was!)

She had a nice husband (I’m pretty sure she doesn’t) and had two little boys, a baby girl and was pregnant (I’m pretty sure none of that is true too!)

Over time, we became closer and closer friends and eventually realised that we’d fallen in love.  I remember I started doing asides to the camera, and I also remember being in a restaurant with my mum and another friend and going through my digital camera showing them loads of photos of Miranda.

The problem was, that the main reason that Miranda fell for me apparently was because I was able to do Rob Brydon’s ‘Small man in a box’ vocal trick.  Which I can’t.  So it will never be true.  *sigh*

I have no idea why I dreamt of her – I know she presented Have I Got News For You last night,  but we recorded it, so wont be watching it til tonight.

At least typing up this dream was easier than when I dreamt I was Mrs Serafinowicz!

zombie fingers

Well, I had a very odd hodge-podge dream last night.

It was a bit of an odd combination.  First of all I was dreaming that I was at this fantastic but massive party – and it was without a doubt the coolest party I have ever been to.  But it was being held in my old school.  there were bonfires everywhere, lots of different ‘themed’ rooms, and loads and loads of people that I knew, except I don’t really know them.  And I was there with my ex-boyfriend.  Now he is probably explained as I’ve been talking to him a lot lately (he’s recently joined Facebook, and we’ve been catching up as we hadn’t spoken for about a year).  But he was my boyfriend in my dream, and there was a lot of snogging and whatever going on (especially the whatever…)

And i’d just got an iPad and everyone was insanely jealous.  Except it was shite.  After having my lovely phone, which is really intuitive, and does everything that I want it to, the iPad was a big pile of poo.  I couldn’t get it to do anything interesting, it was really slow, I couldn’t flick between apps easily and half the time it must’ve decided I was some kind of zombie as the touchscreen didn’t register my touch.

Actually, that has happened to me before on the quiz machine over our local.  Some days it just doesn’t register my touch, and yet everyone else can play it no problem – so maybe I AM a zombie…or a ghost.

Anyway, my dream didn’t make me want an iPad.  I know it was just a dream…but it could have been a sign.  😉

mrs serafinowicz

Just in case you didn't know who he was in SOTD

Last night I had a dream…well, most probably it was actually this morning.

I dreamed that I had got married to Peter Serafinowicz.

What do you mean you’ve never heard of him.  of course you have.  He’s a very very funny man, dontcha know.  He has a blog, and he tweets a lot, mainly very funny stuff.  And he was of course the landlord in Shaun of the Dead.  “Ahhhhh, HIM!” I hear you say.

Anyway, for some reason or the other, I married him.  I remember being pretty happy about it (as he is cute of course) and there seemed to be a lot of sunshine.

I remember getting a bit upset because I had trouble spelling my surname, and i wasn’t very happy with my signature, and spent hours trying to get it right, but it just wasn’t happening.

Then he kept doing the zombie thing in the shower every morning, and the joke wore a bit thin.  Until one day I didn’t pull back the shower curtain and say “Oh ha ha” and he stayed there all day, and when I got home (from wherever the wife of Peter Serafinowicz goes) I opened the shower curtain and he really WAS a zombie.  And then I woke up (to BBC 6Music of course).

I mumbled to The Man “I just married Peter Serafinowicz…i’m sorry” and then Hot Chip’s ‘I Feel Better’ came on the radio, which bolted me awake with a shiver, as Peter Serafinowicz directed the video to that (I wanted to go down and be in the video when he was asking for screaming girls, but I was working 😦

You haven’t seen the video?  Well, I will post it below!  First of all, you DO know what Hot Chip look like, don’t you?

Hot Chip - talented, but not really pretty

I’m really looking forward to seeing them at Lovebox this year as I do like their stuff 🙂  You’ll understand why I posted their pic when you watch the vid.  Enjoy.

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