Home > Background Blah, family > what i waste my energy doing

what i waste my energy doing

The Girl has been a pain in the arse over recent months…well, perhaps over the past year.  When people ask “What has she done wrong?”, I am often at a loss to explain.

However, as she seems to be absolutely oblivious to what she does wrong, I came up tonight with the idea of spending a week recording her behaviour for her to read back when she’s in a better mood, so that she can see exactly what she does.

Before anyone says it, I KNOW that she’s (probably) just acting liek a teenager, but I can hand on heart say this is NOT how *I* used to act as a teenager – and she’s 12, not even a teenager yet!

Anyway, she was out at drama club tonight, which she loves, and didn’t get home til about 7.40 – she came straight in to have dinner, so this list is from 8pm when she finished dinner til 10pm when she was meant to have been in bed for half an hour.

  • Pulled all clothes out of wardrobe and left them on the floor whilst changing
  • Argued and complained about having a shower
  • Pretended to shower whilst not actually getting in it
  • Spent over 50 minutes in the bathroom once in the shower
  • Complained about having to tidy room
  • Read a book after being told to tidy room
  • Read another book when first book was taken away whilst still not tidying room
  • Pretended to brush teeth and shouted about not being believed, until it was pointed out that her toothbrush was still bone dry
  • Slammed bathroom door twice and bedroom door once
  • Claimed that room wasn’t tidy as thought had only been asked to ‘put away clothes’ so left everything else on the floor
  • Put stereo on and played with toys when meant to be asleep
  • Had juice on the side and cup & spoon (?) in bed (!) after being told not to take drinks into bedroom (as they usually end up on the carpet)
  • Answered back about all of the above, rolled eyes a lot, stomped and done a lot of shouting and flouncing

Yes. So, that has been my evening.  Well, two hours of my evening, and to be honest that is just run of the mill at the moment.

So, if anyone local would like a 12 year old girl (I’d like to see her at least a few times a week for a short while), then let me know and we’ll work something out!  Don’t be fooled by the fact that she is polite, gentle, funny, well-mannered and incredibly thoughtful as soon as there is someone else around…

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  1. sylviefan
    June 12, 2012 at 11:49 pm

    As you have another 5+ years of teenage strops to go I think you need ration your energy and pick the battles really worth fighting. Think siege mentality and war of attrition rather than decisive ‘surgical’ strike.
    Provided she doesn’t stink after drama forget the shower before bed. If she’s honking shove a can of deodorant at her. She’ll be a clean freak as soon as boys ( girls) are interested.
    Ditto tidying room – my teenage niece’s room was a fetid swamp of makeup knickers mugs etc for years while she swanned around outside looking immaculate. Unless you have a VIP visiting close the door and ignore – leave her laundry / bedlinen etc neatly outside.
    In dire straits ie VIP due ( or pest control ) take photographs of the chaos and post on Facebook Twitter – threaten to share unless she clears up. Video is even better as you get the full 360 degree effect!
    Start saving to get a rug/ replace her bedroom carpet as soon as she leaves home – she’ll have spilt makeup toiletries/ nail polish as well as drinks food and probably burns from hair tongs too.

    Chin up and grit your teeth – see you at supper club

    • June 13, 2012 at 9:36 am

      Ha! Believe me, I have tried so hard to let the ‘non-important’ things slide. But now her schoolwork has really started taking a downturn too, so I have felt I need to knuckle down and at least make her do what I have TOLD her to do, just now. you know, so recently that it can’t possibly fall under the “Oh, I forgot…” category which is what I usually get.

      *big breath*

  2. June 16, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    Sorry Sonia, except for the stereo one that could have been both my daughters 😀
    Listen to Sylviefan – since we live here (5 years ago) I haven’t been in their room so to speak. And talking about mess – I’m the one who locks her door and puts the key in my trouser pocket when there are unexpected visits *ahem* ;D Unlike me they have regular sleepovers, so that’s when their rooms get cleaned so there’s space for crashing down.
    Wall-to-wall carpet is so out of fashion here (yaay, I hate carpet :P) and the occasional rug I put down downstairs doesn’t survive long – dratted cat!

    Having her homework suffer is of course another thing – it’s not always easy to find the right lever to make them do their work.

    And ummm… they are so not like me when I was a teenager too 😀 Although – according to them, I could do with a tone-down sometimes 😉

    Big breaths is the way – it will pan out, I’m sure 🙂

    • June 16, 2012 at 11:33 pm

      Thanks Rein – I just don’t mix with other parents really, so don’t have many people saying “Oh, yeah, they’re all like that” – I just remember what I was like. But that was obviously a generation ago, and things seem to have changed!

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