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promise me eternity – ian fox

Promise Me Eternity

I was asked by the author whether I would review this book, and I have to admit, I have put off writing my review…I actually finished it in mid March and just haven’t known where to start really.

Dr Simon Patterson is a respected neurosurgeon. He has a wife, although his marriage isn’t as happy as he would like it to be, and he’s also rather despondent about his job, so he is working on his own research to find a formula for eternal youth.  this has the double-pronged problem of preventing him from getting a promotion and being in a lot of debt.

However, one day he saves the life of mobster Carlo Vucci, who takes him under his wing, introduces him to his wife, the beautiful Christine – and his life changes completely.

Ian Fox was born in Slovenia, and unfortunately I think it really comes across in the book that English is not his first language.  There were so many grammatical errors, or just dialogue that really jarred as I kept thinking “No real person would say that in that way!”.  For example, in a restaurant scene: “Jerry put down his fork. “Of course not, Anita. Don’t get so excited. Look, that guy and woman to our left are staring at us. Maybe you were a bit loud.””

Nobody talks like that. Not in English.

There was also quite a bit of dialogue used as giving background / historica information. “”Well, I am scared. i can tell you that and anyone else. have you forgotten about our old colleague, Bullock?” he paused for a moment. “Have you forgotten the state his corpse was in? They found thirty bullets in his body. his face was unrecognizeable. And his hand was cut off. That was a clear enough message for me.””

It was all so stilted.  I think a lot of the plot was interesting, although it was extremely slow to start with, and there seemed to be a lot of strands that wandered off, or seemed to have no reall reason for being there.

I am wondering whether Mr Fox may have been better off writing the book in his native language and then getting it properly translated. I think the English-speaking public really do expect to read books written in the way that they would speak – unless they are reading about a story set abroad…but this was definitelys et in the US.

I am very sorry, but there were just too many flaws for me to really enjoy this.

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