feeling it

Ignorance is bliss...

I’m not really sure why, but the past couple of weeks I have really started to feel old.

OK, I say that I’m not really sure why, but I think that it’s actually an accumulation of things.

The Girl is going to be starting High School in less than 2 weeks, which feels really really scary.  My baby, going to big school – she’s only a little dot herself!  I can’t possibly be old enough to have a child that goes to high school!

I also haven’t been sleeping very well the past few weeks, and it’s really starting to take its toll on me.  I’ve had recurring insomnia since I was 18, but as I get older, it gets harder to deal with – and I don’t manage to bounce back as easily.

I take 150mcg of thyroxine a day (hypothyroidism)…well, I am supposed to, but I really don’t remember to take my pills any more than every other day, which means that I have no energy, which lives me a bit down and dispirited.  I need ot find a way to rmember to take my pills, as I am never going to get past this.  It’s been 10 years now and I still don’t remember.

Also, the less I remember to take my pills, the less energy I have, the less inclined I am to do anything, and the less my body manages to use any energy in my body, and the more weight I am putting on.  I know I need to do something about this, as I think it’s starting to get to me now.  My joints ache, I am starting to feel frumpy.

I noticed my forehead was a bit wrinkly this week, and that my skin feels gritty and odd.  I have also been stung by a wasp on my neck, which looks ugly and hurt like hell, and then bitten by something on my foot on Monday which swelled up and looked bizarre, and has itched like hell – even waking me up in the night!

I need my hair done, I need to get my eyes tested (now that The Man is working, I’m going to be able to afford to), I really really need to go to the doctor to have my thyroid checked as I am supposed to every 6 months, but haven’t for a couple of years.  And I’ve had an odd pain in my chest for the past couple of weeks that is starting to get annoying.

I think I need a holiday.  In fact, I know I need a holiday.  And then I can get into the right mindset and move myself up a gear.

I don’t think it has helped that due to school holidays, I have only had The Girl for 2 days in the past 3-4 weeks and I miss her terribly.  I am not a clingy mother and I hate being labelled as a mum over any other aspect of my personality, BUT I feel that I have lost a whole side of what makes me me.  In fact I’m having a little tear to myself typing this, LOL.  I’m such a wuss.

I need a boot up the arse, that’s what I need.  And a couple of good nights out/in gossiping with some friends and a big hug from my baby.


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