the murder desk

You don't want to sit at the murder desk!

When we first got our office in Jan 2008, me and my boss bagsied our desks first.  This was the point that  I dubbed one of the desks ‘The Murder Desk’.  My boss loves it, and mentions it every time someone sits in it 🙂

In every office I have ever worked in, I have always known which desk is the murder desk.

As far as I am concerned, it is the desk closest to the main door, preferably facing away from  it.  That way, if an axe-wielding maniac comes into the office in a mad killing spree and charges through the front door, anyone sitting at that desk is about 80% likely to be the first to die – sacrificing themselves so that the rest of us may be able to make a dash for it!

I would like to point out that the desk I chose is the one farthest from the main entrance, nearest the door to the kitchen, where there are large windows to climb out of, with a stairway to get down to ground level quickly.  I’m sorted!


8 thoughts on “the murder desk

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  1. Firstly, maybe you should think more carefully about the kind of company you work for if axe-wielding maniacs are considered an occupational hazzard. Secondly I’d like to see your working out that predicts an 80% probability of death for a given work station.

    1. well, firstly, you’re hardly one to talk 😉 But, really, it doesn’t matter whether they are LIKELY to, it’s all about being prepared. Were you not in the Cubs/Scouts?

      Secondly, I did a very analytical piece of research, but it was in my old job and the lengthy workings-out that took me months to complete were on my old PC there…

  2. I most certainly have never been in any paramilitary organisations. God only knows what dib dib dib is in morse code.

  3. I can’t say that axe-weilding maniacs have been a consideration for me when choosing desks. I generally prefer the one with the best view of who’s walking around/ least visible computer screen so no one knows when I’m wasting time!

    1. see, my boss is an old friend, and wastes more time than I do – in fact half of my job is just keeping him entertained, I swear! So PC screen is not an issue (although was in my old job). Usually the murder desk, because of its positioning is also worst for that (as you’re nearest the door and everyone would look at your screen as soon as they walk in AND you are the last to notice them!) – so sitting furthest away from the murder desk would be best on both those counts too! 🙂

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