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gay? never!!

Of course, noone ever had any reason to suspect that he was gay...

Today, of course has been the unbelievable news that Ricky Martin is in fact gay.

Noone saw that coming, did they?  The whole world is speechless with shock.

Well, almost the whole world.  My lovely gay friend took it upon himself to rewrite one of Ricky’s more memorable songs.  I think it works rather well, and asked whether I could share it.  The thought of being an internet sensation of course appealed to him.  (He doesn’t know how few people read my blog).

An Ode To Ricky Martin

He’s into new admissions, bakes quiche and plays with dolls,
I feel a premonition most people couldn’t care at all.
He’s into new sensations, high kicks in satin tights,
He’s got a new addiction, Glee club on a Monday night.

He’ll make her take her clothes off and go dancing in the rain.
He’ll struggle with the nausea till her skirt’s back on again
He sees trousers in his brain. Come On!

[CHORUS:]
Upside, inside out he’s coming out of the closet,
He’s got a new book out, coming out of the closet,
His lips are devil red, and he’s dyed his black hair russet,
His book will sell out
Coming out of the closet
Come on!
Coming out of the closet
Come on
He’s coming out of the closet

Woke up in New York City in a gaga dress and silver shoes,
He lost his heart to a starship trooper
While practicing his pouty moues,
He never drank the water cos he thought it turned him gay,
Ironic that the whole wide world
Always thought of him that way
While he plucked his brows away

[CHORUS]

He’ll make you take your clothes off
And go dancing in the rain
And probably take mephedrone
And meow like he’s insane,
There’s a gay man in his brain
Come on!

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  1. April 7, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    lol Still makes me giggle reading that.

    Anyway, you know the only reason he’s coming out now is because he’s trying to sell his book

    • April 7, 2010 at 12:35 pm

      Aha! there’s always a reason for these things. shallow bastard.

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