Home > Background Blah, family > just give me the hurt

just give me the hurt

All evil girls should be green, so they're easy to spot!

Is it wrong for a fully grown woman to want to punch a small girl hard in the face?

I’m not talking about my own girl of course, as she is my main source of entertainment, and as annoying as she can be occasionally, she’s generally just funny and pretty well-behaved….polite, well-mannered, witty and loving.

So, who, and why?

Well, there is this one girl in her class who is like the Queen Bee of all the girls – what she says goes.  All the girls have to play what she plays, do what she does and think what she thinks.  The majority of the girls in The Girl’s class do this – mainly due to fear…fear of this girl beating them up or just casting them out of ‘the crowd’.

The Girl is a little different however.  She is completely unbullyable!  Believe me, I’ve tried – I think I should be able to bully her.  She should be scared of me – *I* had the decency to be scared of my mum!

So this nasty evil little bitch of an eleven year old does everything she can to get to The Girl.  On friday, she came home from school and burst into tears because this bitch had told all of the girls in their class that she had some disease, and not to talk to her or they’d catch it too.  She also told The Girl’s best friend that she mustn’t play with her, or all the other girls would ignore her.  The Girl’s best friend doesn’t have a fraction of the confidence or personality of The Girl, and so just went along with what Queen Bitch said…which led to The Girl having no friends to play with at break time.

This has gone on for about 3 years now, since The Girl’s then best friend for 3 years (a fantastic little girl with pints of personality) left their school because her family moved.  It left The Girl in a bit of a difficult situation as she’d put all her eggs in one basket.

I know that in the long run, it is best that The Girl can’t be led astray, that she knows right from wrong and that noone will ever tell her how to live her life…but as a 10 year old girl, it’s devastating – and I really don’t know what to do about it.  I keep telling her that she’s only at that school til July, and that hopefully Queen Bitch wont be at her new school – and even if she is, she might not see much of her because high school is so much bigger.  I keep playing it down and telling her that there’s noone as cruel as little girls, and that if they were boys, they’d have a fight, and then make off and go off in a big group.

But I want to hurt her.  I want to see how she reacts to someone being so cruel.  Bitch.

Luckily, I’d booked tickets for me and The Girl to go and see The Princess & The Frog on Friday night, and she hadn’t known, so she got a great surprise.  And she got to stay round my parents on Saturday night while I went out boozing.  She hardly ever goes there, and she loves it.  And I took her for brekkie at the caff.  So all in all, she had a fab weekend, and went back to school yesterday and (as I predicted) the whole thing had been forgotten over the weekend.

Until the next time.  And there will be a next time.  And I dread it.

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  1. February 9, 2010 at 9:32 pm

    I remember having to convince Tom to punch a bully. It took lots of time and eventually he did it. He never looked back and he has the strength of character not to become a bully himself, but it’s really changed the way people treat him. He has never been picked on since and infrequently has to show that he’s prepared to fight back. Maybe that’s what The Girl needs to do to the Queen B?

    • February 9, 2010 at 9:39 pm

      I remember when The Girl was in Year 3, there was a boy in Year 5 that kicked her, and she really shouted at him, completely unflapped by the fact that he’d kicked her. I actually reported it to the school as a courtesy, more because I was concerned that he might pick on other kids that weren’t as strong-willed as her. The school made it into a big deal, which was precisely what I’d told them not to! As there were 3 boys called Muhammed in Year 5, they made her go into the classroom and point out which one it was!!! I was livid and had SUCH a go at the year head.

      As for Queen B, she’s never dared lay a finger on The Girl, even though she’s way bigger than her. So, it’s not a physical thing. And she doesn’t let her see that she’s got too her (the majority of the time)…The Man said that when he picked her up on Friday, QB gave TG a dirty look, and TG just stood, looked straight at her and said “What?!!?” – so she’s not timid.

      I think she’s just got to look forward to July….it’s not too long now.

  2. February 9, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    Ah I was bullied at the age of ten…quite a lot by a large number of v ‘popular’ kids (believe it or not I had huge ears which my body has now caught up with, thanks in part to the help of a surgeon 😉 ).

    It wasn’t very nice but it did give me an understanding of people that has come in useful. And in later years I found out that some of the children bullying me really had very crappy home lives and this had manifested itself in the way they were with me and a few others.

    So in short – I bet she’ll be fine (although it must be so tough as a parent – I always think that, she sounds like a resilient and very bright kid. And the other kids are very possibly being bullied elsewhere (which I am not using as an excuse but you know what I mean…)…

    And yes when I got to senior school no-one bullied me anymore! (I mean would you bully me?…!)…So I’m sure it’ll get much better for her soon…

    Kelly
    x

    • February 9, 2010 at 10:48 pm

      Awww, i can’t imagine anyone bullying a tough geordie lass like you Kel – but then again, I guess they all were!!

      I did explain about bullys often being bullied many years ago…actually when we were talking on Saturday, we were talking about the fact that anyone ‘different’ often gets picked on…i was bullied in infants cos I was a ‘paki’ (even tho I wasn’t but it was a tiny white middle-class village school) and then in primary I was bullied cos I was a boff/teacher’s pet.

      The Girl is top girl in her class on marks etc, so she gets some of that too – apparently Queen B is in the lowest group for everything and the Girl decided it’s better to be bullied and clever than bullied and thick and have to work in MacDonalds, LOL

      As I said, she’s usually absolutely above it – but sometimes it gets to her 😦

  3. February 9, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    At least The Girl has a mother who takes an interest in her, probably something Queen Bully doesn’t have. If she can get through her formative years at school she’ll emerge a better woman at the end of the day. Might not sound like much for her to look forward to but she’ll appreciate it in 10-15 years time 😉

    • February 9, 2010 at 10:59 pm

      I reckon she’ll be fine in high school. I LOVED school – I loved the social aspect of it, but only high school really, so I’m hoping that will be the same for her.

  4. February 11, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    It would be nice if we could protect our children from things like this, but we can’t. The Girl has a great support system though, in you, The Man and other family, so she really is going to be just fine.

    Nick wasn’t picked on much (probably because he’s always taller than the other kids), but poor Noah gets picked on. The other day he came home with tears because another boy kept kicking him as he tried to walk home. 😦 There have been quite a few times when I’ve felt like doing what Rebecca De Mornay’s character in The Hand that Rocks the Cradle does to the school bully.

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