So, yesterday was my 40th birthday. I had the day off and took my parents out for an absolutely stunning lunch at Rhodes W1. It was their Christmas present from me, but was the first time we all had a chance to go out together – exactly the same as my birthday last year.
Anyway, my mum sent me a text tonight asking if I would send her the photos of our food that I took (will post tomorrow) and to tell me that she had a fantastic time, and that she hoped I had a lovely birthday.
I sent back: “I had a brilliant day. I have had a lovely day today too I LIKE being 40!!”
Her response made me well up a little: “I’m so glad. U know, Pam (her older sister who died at 48) made a really big thing about being 40 but I thought it was great too, so be yourself n enjoy life as it is. Ur doing rly well Son, with lots of friends n that’s what matters, believe me. Love u loads, Mum xx”
I could even forgive her the txtspk.
I had a nice surprise yesterday.
I have been sulking for over two weeks now, as my daughter’s dad took her on holiday all over Christmas and New Year. It was a fantastic opportunity for her, but was a massivelu upsettuing time for me. What’s the point of Christmas when you haven’t got your baby around? I have never really liked Christmas, but I’ve loved her excitement – and this year I didn’t even have that. Also, he hasn’t had her for longer than 2 nights at a time for the last year or two, so it was a wrench to have her taken away from me anyway.
Anyway – so my nice surprise. I got an email telling me that she would be home very soon, and not to worry that she’s had such a fantastic time with her dad, that it doesn’t mean anything – just that she’s had a good holiday. Not to feel bad that we can’t afford to take her away on posh holidays as we are the ones that are there every day doing all the important things. Very sweet, yes, but the email was actually from me.
Back at the end of August, I found this site called FutureMe.Org which enables you to write an email and choose a date that you want it to be sent on. At the time, I’d only just agreed that she could go away, and I was having major hassles with her dad over something else – and it was making me feel very insecure about everything with her, so, knowing that she’d be back just after New Year, I decided to send myself an email to arrive on New Year’s Day just giving myself a bit of a pep talk.
I told a couple of my friends abotu the site, and they thought it was stupid…but I thought it was a great idea. It’s one I’m definitely going to bear in mind for future pre-planned traumas, LOL.
And it did the job – yesterday, when I got the email from my past self, I thought “Yes! That’s right! ‘m a bloody great mum and she loves me loads. That’s all that matters.” And it’s true